How To Rest (In Peace)?

Let me get one thing straight. No, this is not about death. I literally mean to ask you about resting in peace.

It is okay to take a break. Pause. Rest. Someone at some point in your life must have definitely told you this, right? Well, in my case, I keep telling this to myself. And in nine out of ten situations, I practice what I preach.

But truth be told, I don't know how to do it.

Correction: I don’t know how to do it well.

Don’t get me wrong. I can stop myself from hustling without any guilt because I know I give my best while at work. And even on days when I feel I have not ‘earned’ some rest like we are taught to believe that it should be preceded with a considerable amount of productive work, I pause if I need to. Am a pro at maintaining personal boundaries for my own good.

But the problem arises when I actually take a break. Because, surprisingly, I do not find myself resting. Instead, I find myself thinking about the next item to be checked off on my never ending to-do list. The next deadline to be met. The next client call. It’s like my mind has reached the future when my body just wants to be in the present and catch a breath. Result? My break ends sooner than expected or I resume work with more exhaustion!

What is interesting is, similar distractions crop up when I am racing against time to finish a deliverable. The next episode to watch. The next meal of the day. The next choreography to learn. But they don’t stop me from working. Instead, I am able to disconnect from the world (read: social media) completely and use them as motivators to get the work done super quick.

Basically, my issue is: I lack the commitment to rest well.

My resting bitch face (minus the bitch)

What is with us humans? Where does this resistance to recharge and refresh come from? And when I overcome it on some days, I am left clueless. No one really taught me how to rest. Sounds pretty weird, but it is true.

That is when I wonder, what does it really mean to take a break? Is it the absence of anything that you ought to do or just tricking your mind to believe that you are resting? Whatever definition we settle with, seeking peace seems like a stretch for me. Because, in spite of being a person who takes conscious breaks, I don’t remember the last time I felt completely rested.

One of the things that I am trying to practise is being more mindful of the activity I am doing. Like I fully commit to work, fully commit to the recreational activity. And it is not restricted to them. For example, I try to have my meals without looking at my phone or watching TV. Until now, I have failed miserably. Because I have been able to do it for only two days. Third day, I was back to square one. But I keep trying. It has been long since I have kept my phone away while having lunch, but I’ll get there soon.

Funny how resting also takes effort for me. But when the result is a rejuvenated mind and a body that is ready to achieve what your mind has already accomplished, it is worth it. So I’ll try harder. To rest in peace.

Or on another note: Does it really happen only when you die? Oh damn.