It Is Okay To Not Have An Answer

"For now, I am just going to have a cup of tea, read a book, and escape from your question."

Try answering this when someone asks you - what next? First, be ready to have your patience tested when they nod in assurance, but still await a more definite answer. Then confirm their doubts by saying you have nothing else to offer. Watch them getting drowned in discomfort and getting ready to take you with them. But before you unknowingly jump to join them, wait. There’s only one problem here. We are talking about them yet again, when this is about YOU.

It is okay to not have an answer.

If you don’t know, you don’t know. You never said you are the human form of Wikipedia anyway! You are brave and kind enough to hear your inner voice and do whatever it takes to give you some peace and joy. It is sad that this concept is novel in our society and people need a socially acceptable reason when all you want is to live a little. But so what? You didn’t enter the Universe with their permission. You don’t have to wait to live until they give permission! 

This sounds pretentious when you hear it from someone who has achieved whatever they wished to. It becomes difficult for us to believe them when we know they are making such a statement from a place of accomplishment. But here I am, clueless about my journey ahead, and still ready to believe it is okay to not have an answer.

For once be okay if you do not know what your next month looks like. Be okay enjoying life as raw as it can be. Be grateful for all the things you took for granted. Be okay being you, unfiltered. It is ridiculous that this is not a normal feeling for most of us. But hey, no one is stopping you!

If you are convinced you are better off without deadlines for a while, so be it. It is not mandatory for you to convince hundreds of other people if you are convinced. It is foolish to think that our work defines us completely. It does to some extent for some people. That doesn’t mean without it, you have no life. What is the point of earning if you cannot pause to breathe and enjoy a sip of tea while you read a book you have been waiting to read since a long time. You do realize that what you are living right now is life, and you might not be special enough to live till your retirement and experience the lavish retirement life you have been thinking of?

Basically, you do realize that you are human, right?

Don’t get me wrong. I am not asking you to leave whatever you are doing, pack your bags, hit the road, and go to the Himalayas [or even to the nearest resort considering the current situation]. If you are doing just fine and do not need a break, great! [Pass whatever you are having to the rest of us!] But if you do need a break, DO NOT HESITATE. You define the duration and rules of your break. But take it.

You cannot live a life surrendering to things that are disguised as necessities. You cannot live a life waiting for that one day which is burdened with your dreams and desires. Most importantly, you cannot live a life simply to answer others’ questions. Who will answer yours then?

We have been taught to believe that we should have an answer for all questions at all times. Even if the answer changes after a few years down the line, it is fine till the time you have a different answer for the same set of questions ready to be thrown at you. Thankfully, I haven’t encountered them a lot but I am sure if these were normal times and I met more people than today, I would have been at the receiving end of unsettled faces, staring at me for not having a predefined goal in mind.

See, my only request is, if you are privileged [I hope that you are], take that goddamn break you have been ignoring since years. And when you take one, ignore that goddamn question people will ask you - what next? The first time, reply politely because they do not know they are the hundredth person to ask you the same old question. The second time, reply politely that you are on a break with people, including them. Problem solved.

I am on such a break myself. On most of the days, I am doing what I like the most. And it has been an amazing feeling. Personally, I have no problem by being honest and telling people that I really do not have a plan yet. I am exploring, figuring out how I want my life to look like. I do not feel a tinge of insecurity when multiple people ask me this question. Because while I am not certain, I am positive. I have never taken such a break ever in my life and this is helping me broaden my perspective. I am more than sure that there are going to be bad days. But I believe my constant efforts towards doing something I like is all the energy I need. On days when it fails me, I have a bunch of people to rely on who embrace me with their warmest hugs and smiles.

If you have read till here, thank you. If you are one of those contemplating a break and stalling it for reasons other than out of your control, you already know what I have to say. If you wish, reach out to me so that we explore this uncertainty in unity! Probably one day we’ll have a story for the world where we say - It is okay to not have an answer when you begin. Soon you’ll have one.  I didn’t want to wait till that time to tell you this. Because I wanted you to believe this is truly what I felt. And there’s a higher probability that you would trust me now than when I would have published my first book (the heart can yearn for anything, right?)